Life Changes

15 Apr

I think everyone finds change a little bit scary, even though it’s something we all have to go through quite a lot in our lives. The most scariest changes are the ones you are forced to make yourself, where you make an active choice knowing it will change everything about your current situation and affect your whole future. The past year I’ve been struggling a lot with some life-changing decisions, and frankly it’s scared the hell out of me. It’s been no secret that my life the past year, I had to take a break from my studies and move back home because everything became a bit too much and I was struggling with depression and anxiety. And I started thinking about my current situation and if I was actually happy with it, or if I just kept going because the other options were too scary.

And I found out I actually wanted a change. I don’t want to continue my teacher studies. I want to do something completely different. So I’ve decided to quit and start something else. This decision was made some months ago, but I’m just starting to tell everybody about it now, and I’m feeling really good about it. It is a big change, I have to start completely over again, and sadly I have to move to a new city, which will be exciting, but also means that I won’t live near some of my best friends. And of course there is the feeling that I’ve wasted 3 years of my life, but I’m trying not to think of it that way. After all, I’ve learned and gained a lot these past few years. I made some amazing friends, I’ve learned to live away from home, I learned a lot from my studies, and I enjoyed them as well. Yes, even though I’m quitting, I did enjoy them. I found out it’s what after the teaching studies I don’t really want to do. If that makes any sense. At least it does to me.

In August I will be starting a bachelor degree in library & information science, which is in Oslo. My initial doubts and fear whether this is the right thing to do or not has started to fade, and I’m feeling more and more confident about this decision everyday. I’m actually really starting to look forward to it, and I’m feeling like I’m actively taking part in my life again. I still have everyday struggles with a lot of bad thoughts affecting me, but I’m getting help and I do actually believe that everything is going to turn out alright now.

And just because, I’m ending this post with this wonderful picture of Chico and me 🙂

Hedvig and Chico

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